How would you rate the quality of your life?
Dr. Ivan Misner has been called the father of modern networking. He is the founder of Business Networking International (BNI), the world’s largest business networking organization and a New York Time’s best selling author.
He is a dedicated family man, world traveler and a black belt in karate.
By all indications, the quality of his life is pretty good.
I had the opportunity to attend the 2016 Annual National BNI Conference Member Day last week in Cincinnati where Dr. Misner spent time speaking in various breakout sessions, one of which was based on the book he co-wrote with Stewart Emery and Rick Sapio entitled Who’s In Your Room?
Once In, You Can’t Get Out
The book and the presentation begin with a simple scenario. Imagine that you spend your entire life in just one room and that whoever and whatever you let in to your room will be there with you forever. Once in, they can’t get out.
As the lyrics to the Eagle’s song “Hotel California” say, “You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.”
If this were how you were to live for the rest of your life, who and what would you let in? Would you be more selective? Most of us probably would be.
The Room is Real
Indeed, our brains are that room, and whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware of them, everyone and everything we have ever let in to our lives are now part of our room. They are there and they aren’t going anywhere. So shouldn’t we be more selective about who we let in? Of course we should.
As the book states right up front, “The quality of your life depends upon who is in your room.”
The Importance of the Doorman
It goes on to discuss the concept of a virtual doorman to control who gets in. In the case of professional groups like BNI, this may be a membership committee that reviews and checks all applicants. For an individual like yourself, YOU are the doorman.
The job of the doorman is to ensure that anyone allowed entrance to your room should share the same values, not necessarily the same beliefs, but the same values as you. Anyone allowed entry will support you and what matters the most to you. New entrants often bring the very talents and skills you are looking to add to your room.
The doorman has to know who and what gets in, and that all starts with you. You first have to get to know yourself, define yourself, and be comfortable with who you are and who you want to become. You need to define a clear vision, mission and purpose for yourself so that you can more clearly define the criteria for entrance in to your room.
But don’t wait around to do that because, in the meantime,` the one-way door is wide open and the room is getting crowded.
Who’s In Your Room? is a quick but invaluable read. You can find it in the BNI Member’s Store by clicking here. If you aren’t a BNI member and have trouble locating the book, please contact me and I’ll help you get it.